Wednesday, January 5

Heavy heart

I really have nothing for today to write, so I will start with what is on my heart. It's been a very sad day for me.  It stems from conflict in my life and it has somehow spread into every aspect of my life. How did I let this happen, this toxic part seep into everything I do.  I don't know if its because I am a female or it's my personality but whenever the handfuls of times I have had conflict it has consumed me and overwhelms me.  I start thinking "maybe this is why we aren't pregnant yet" "maybe I am awful and this one person is right" "why" "what is so horrible about me that I can't fix this" and then I think, "stop feeling sorry for yourself, you are doing the right things saying the right things and while you not perfect you are a child of God......so suck it up and get over it"
I am not angry. I am just so sad.  But the best part about that is I know that when I am at my lowest of low's God is right here with me holding me and telling me everything is ok and he wishes he could take my sadness away.  As I type this I have a sleeping toddler, and two "big kids" playing nicely "ok" together on the back porch, what a blessing each of my children are.  I have an amazing husband working hard to provide for us and he loves us more than I could ever imagine. My friends are so great and supportive words cannot describe what their shoulder and ear have meant to me in all of this. This song has been on my heart almost every day I love it! 


Casting Crowns
If We Are The Body



It's crowded in worship today 
As she slips in 
Trying to fade into the faces 
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know 
Farther than they know 

CHORUS 
But if we are the Body 
Why aren't His arms reaching 
Why aren't His hands healing 
Why aren't His words teaching 
And if we are the Body 
Why aren't His feet going 
Why is His love not showing them there is a way 
There is a way 

A traveler is far away from home 
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row 
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances 
Are better out on the road 

CHORUS 
But if we are the Body 
Why aren't His arms reaching 
Why aren't His hands healing 
Why aren't His words teaching 
And if we are the Body 
Why aren't His feet going 
Why is His love not showing them there is a way 

Jesus paid much too high a price 
For us to pick and choose who should come 
And we are the Body of Christ 

Chorus (2x) 
If we are the body 
Why aren't His arms reaching 
Why aren't His hands healing 
Why aren't His words teaching 
And if we are the body 
Why aren't His feet going 
Why is His love not showing them there is a way 

Jesus is the way 

1 comment:

  1. You are a wonderful person and an awesome friend! Thinking of you! xoxo

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