Feeling better, back to the blog!

Well, last week was ROUGH to say the least! The timeline goes as follows

Tuesday am - check into clinic and surgery all set, I head off and am woken up a couple of hours later in the recovery room.  Dr. comes by and says the surgery was successful and everything went perfectly.

Tuesday noon - I leave the clinic in a considerable amount of pain not so much due to the incision but more to the fact that I had air trapped and my shoulder and right side of my ribcage felt like a knife stabbing me repeatedly.

Tuesday night - In a lot of pain still from the air, I had to sleep on the couch in the reclined position to get any sort of relief.

Wednesday - BY FAR the worst day for pain I could ever have imagined.  I could hardly breath and forget trying to move.  The pain had me in tears over and over.  Ryan was helpless and tried everything he could to help me.

Thursday - Friday I could tell the air pain was going away because my incision was very sore.  I thought I was feeling better.

Saturday - AWFUL day I started feeling dizzy, and "out of my body" this really had me scared. I also had a rapid heartbeat and my vision felt weird. Not only that we got stuck in a major rainstorm and when we got home heard the tornado sirens......let me just say it was pretty scary but kinda funny, especially since everyone was OK.

Sunday - I went to church and my brother and sister in laws house and felt OK but still had moments that "something was not right"

Monday - another bad day filled with anxiety attacks. I was really wondering why we did this.

Tuesday - One week post opp. I called my surgeon's office to tell them I was feeling dizzy and rapid heartbeat and they wanted to go ahead and see me.  I think they forgot to let my doc know why I was coming in because when I arrived she (a different surgeon than mine) looked at my incision and told me we could start trying to conceive and to call if we weren't pregnant in six months!!!! I flipped out and started crying and told her my symptoms, she checked my vitals and my blood pressure was a little high (its ALWAYS low) she told me to go to my regular doc to get checked out TODAY. I was terrified, absolutely terrified. So, I go to good ole doctor Taylor's office and he checked me and all my vitals were normal, he calmed me down and said I had allergies which was probably causing my dizziness along with some anxiety about the surgery. He is so calming and I felt better right after I left there.  So we went home and Ryan had to get out of town for a business trip that he already delayed to take care of me.

Wednesday was much better, in fact I probably did too much because today I am a little sore. I was able to take C to school, R to dance and then all the children to C's well visit.


C's well visit turned into a disaster really quick because I thought he was not getting any shots and he ended up getting three.  I have never seen him act like he did getting shots, he usually is pretty calm and doesn't need to be restrained.  NOT TODAY! It was so bad it took two nurses and me to hold him down as he is screaming, "noooooooo don't do this to me" "please stop, please mommy don't let them do this to me" It was so incredibly sad and the poor kid just wanted me to hold him afterwards.

Going back to the surgery, for a while there I was wondering why on earth had we done this.  I was very scared and worried about my health and I think it just continued to snowball into full blown anxiety and on top of that I knew Hubby was leaving and I knew I wasn't ready to be left alone with my kiddos until Saturday.  It wasn't until Wednesday that I started feeling good about what we did and I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I can't begin to discirbe the full on support that we have recieved throughout this process. I can't imagine what I would have done without all of the prayers, meals, and phone calls.  I feel so blessed to be surround by such amazing family and friends (in "real life" and online)

I feel like this post is all over the place but I will get back into it in no time!

I would love to hear from anyone who has suffered anxiety attacks and how you got over them or deal with them.  You can contact me through a tab at the top of my blog site.  Thank you!