New direction

"This is the start of something good"

For many reason's the Maxwell house is changing! We have made some big decisions regarding the future of our family and this blog will be the journey in words. For so many reason, Ryan and I have made the decision to have tubal ligation REVERSAL surgery. Wow there it is in words. It sounds so radical in my head but to see it on the screen makes it so real and gives me a great feeling. The reason's for doing this will be discussed throughout this blog, but i can assure you this decision did not come without a deep look into our spirituality and some tough questions.

The logistics of the getting to the surgery is what i am going to talk about today. You see, from early on in the process I came to realize this is a stat game, a situation of "likely or unlikely mendable"

When doing the research for doctor's you are immediately thrown numbers of probability based on your age, the type of tubal and the amount of time since your tubal ligation. Waiting for the phone call with the answer to the likely or unlikely mendable question was the most gut wrenching 14 days of my life. You have to have the surgery report sent to the new doctor and that takes every bit of 14 days to be received and reviewed. I spent my days running the scenarios i would say "you did this to yourself there is no way you are going to be given the opportunity to have it reversed" "What if my ob took out too much tube? I mean he is an older doc and maybe back then they used to take out more than they needed to" "Why would we even want a fourth child" to that my reply is "why not!" And then, the phone call. Of course I missed the phone call because I was dealing with one of my three little ones but as soon as I saw the voicemail my heart sank. "Oh here it is, the bad news I have been waiting for"

"Mrs. Maxwell, the doctor has received your records and has deemed you "likely mendable"

Likely mendable??? Am I broken, well yeah I feel that way most days. So to hear those words and then 78% chance of pregnancy I cried. I mean can't hardly catch your breath cried.

So here we are, the surgery is paid for ($6200, if you're curious) and on October 19th I will have my date with the knife. The next two months leading to the surgery I will be talking about how we got here and all the fears, joys, ups, downs of this process, not leaving out my Spirituality and my babies and husband.

After the surgery, I will be focusing on a renewed heard, second chance and working towards #4!!!!!!!!!!